Couldn’t sleep last night. Been reading all sorts of financial self-help/education books lately and they got my blood pumping. I am ready to make money. Serious loads of money. And I swear I will climb out of this heap of the shitpile mess that is my life right now.
So. I went online looking for jobs available. Found a few promising ones that I wanted to apply for which is when I realized I needed to make yet another login account and write a resume. So I did. This morning.
Almost instantly the phone started to ring. All sorts of education related companies calling and even telemarketing companies hollering at me. It felt really nice to know I was not only desired but more importantly capable of getting a myriad of jobs if I so chose to.
Then I realized there was a message I hadn’t read.
“Hi I saw your profile online. I am a single 39 year old male. I have my own company and I would like to sponsor you. It would be 5 times a month and I am thinking $6000 plus incentives.”
Ah. The Sponsor.
Been awhile since I was offered such a deal. Guess in a way it couldn’t have come at a better time since my view on life has flipped sideways and over some more. I must say since webcam, things like this are way more tempting than they ever were. A part of me thought ‘maybe I could do that.’ I was thinking of ways to insure he is who he says he is…. How to guarantee payment…. How to make sure I won’t get raped and taped in a random hotel room… then my mind wandered thinking ‘maybe he is part of Il-Bae* and he will have the gang rape shit set up… yada yada yada. I messaged back.
“Hello I have had offers before but have never taken part in it. What is it exactly that you are looking for? Also where did you see my profile?”
“Well…I saw that you applied for a job at my company and that’s how I got your contact info…are you interested? Do you not know anything about sponsorships? Simply put, you meet me 5 times a month and be my girlfriend…”
“I know some of it but not the details. Where do you live?”
“I live in XXX and my company is located in VVV.. For more detail I would rather we discuss it on the phone rather than text…”
“Ok then I will contact you again tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow afternoon would be good. Before 5pm…”
“Okay”
A part of me strongly wants to at least meet this person. See what he is like. What makes him choose to sponsor a girl he doesn’t know rather than date a woman. It’s part intellectual curiosity similar to that of the webcam guys and how I delve into the what,why,when,where,how,whos of their lives. I wonder if he is a decent looking person. I wonder if he has sick fetishes. I wonder if he has HIV. I wonder if he will rip me off. I wonder if he will change his mind when he sees what I look like in person. I wonder if my body would forgive me if I did. I wonder if I will actually become a prostitute. I wonder many things. But I do know I am curious. And I do know even just one month – 5 times to be exact – with this person – the $6000 – would really help me out. I could get so much done. If I were to do that plus the webcam where I made over $2200 in a week – over $8000 a month – all combined would be equivalent to pulling $14,000 in ONE month…. With the total $40,000 debt I have in credit card, loans and rent…. Would help me get rid of close to half of it in ONE MONTH.
…and just in time.
My right nipple begins to leak of breast milk.
Reminding me yet again of what I had done and how despicable I am.
*Il-bae: Anti-feminism group
The Mind Dumping Ground 