Watch me swing my middle finger as I get shit done.
Got another paper in my pocket, checked off another item from shit-to-do.
Never get my tears twisted – I still get shit done, did, had.
I break down in the privacy of this realm of the mind dumping ground I created where I scream them tainted names and pull out the rotten blood out of my throat.
But that is what this place is for.
A dumping ground so I can stay focused on other shits in life.
I still live with a purpose – at times fleeting, at times shaky.
And so can you, so should you.
I clench my jaw hard at the thought of the wrongs done onto me, determined to not let my broken soul break my entire future. I am broken, sure. I am a mess, sure. I am not well, alright.
SO WHAT.
I have always lived a life of unchosen abuse, unwanted offense, uninvited people bringing cracks into the beauty that is my being. It’s alright. I have long surpassed the naivety expecting life to be just, fair and equal. Living is a blessing and a curse at the same time and the sooner we face facts the more we thrive. I know. This leads to people dismissing love, chasing money, all the while craving something real.
I still believe in love but not the kind I believed from childhood fairy tales.
I chase money but not to feed some ego but to be able to have the power to protect, provide, support the ones I love dearly.
I crave something real – always have – so I stay as real as it is humanly possible and some find it too real that they confuse its simplicity as a game.
Fuck depression.
Fuck heartbreak.
Fuck my past.
Fuck him.
I am a world of miracles that stand still ever so beautiful despite all the blood shed. I will still get up because there is no other way to live. I know I will never be able to erase it all – but I can digest it, you, all of the shit and shit you out.
Fuck it.
I will continue on with my middle finger swinging getting shit done.
Keep my miracles closer, hold it tighter, cling to self love and dignity.
You shall not be the end of my goodness.
You will be the proof of it.
The Mind Dumping Ground 